Just Me

  In the job as a Direct Support Professional that I currently have, there is one mantra: “Find your fit.” This basically involves finding an individual that we are a good match with. Someone we get along with, who does not target us, who we are able to support to the best of our ability and whose lifestyle/routines are things we are comfortable with. And while this is something that is often said at the place of employment, I have found that this is a good mantra to have in life as well.   “Find your fit.” Find the thing that you enjoy doing. Find the person that is “just right” and be their friend or partner (or both). Find the career that works for you.   Recently, I was informed that my days at my job were numbered. I learned that I was going to be terminated from the agency due to being written up too many times because of several mistakes I have made over the years. (I was also written up over attendance issues.) So I did the thing that was in my family’s be...

So today I had the opportunity to go for a long drive. At first, I thought I had run out of ideas on where to go. I have already explored so many different routes, gone to other cities and taken roads less traveled. But then I remembered something else: I have a list of places I still want to explore. Many of them are nearby. And so, today, I was happy to be able to cross one place off that list. We went out to Sweet Home. A coworker has talked about it a lot and i was curious about it. So today was the day to check it out!  Fortunately, it was easy to get there. I had looked up the route on Google Maps and wrote down the directions (because there's always a chance I could end up somewhere where I can't get a signal and Google Maps won't work anymore -- as has happened a few times). I followed these directions and was surprised at how easy it was to get there from my location. Sadly, we were not able to visit any businesses there or stay long. But I am just so glad we w...

Today – October 12, 2019 – is a special day for me. It marks two years of being sober. The night that I took my last drink, on October 11, 2017, I never realized that it would be my last. It had been a normal day for me, with another round of beers that I would consume. I had been drinking heavily every day for several years and had experienced many health problems because of it, but on that night, the “health problem” that I experienced was almost the death of me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I later learned that the pancreatitis my chronic drinking caused could be fatal if left untreated. So if it hadn’t been for my oldest child calling 911 on that night as I was lying in bed and writhing in pain, I might not have made it. I have never forgotten that lesson ever since and I have never forgotten being loaded into an ambulance then looking out to see my children scared and crying. I never forgot that I was the one that did that to them. These memories are one o...

Every morning, I turn on the news to see what's going on in the world. But on September 11, 2001, I had not turned on the news that morning. Instead, I was chatting with an online friend. She was talking about the attacks and how big of an impact it is going to have in the future. Of course, I didn't know what she was talking about, so I asked. Her only answer was that I should turn on the news. So I did, and I was stunned at the news coverage I was watching. America had been attacked by terrorists. At first, I was trying to wrap my brain around what had happened. Was this real? Did this really happen to us that morning? Were people really dead because of terrorists hijacking planes and crashing them into buildings?  Unfortunately, yes. This was very real. This had really happened.  My shock turned to sadness then anger. I was so devastated and I was soon crying as I watched the continued coverage of the attacks. I was stunned to witness the coverage of people jum...