Just Me

  Photo Credit: Karolina Grabowska via Unsplash  In January of 2020, I got the news that my oldest was awarded a scholarship for college tuition. Supposedly, this scholarship would pay $21,000 for each undergrad year. At the time he was awarded the scholarship, he was told it was a FULL scholarship. So we were all under the impression that this meant it would cover the cost of his tuition for 4 years of college education. Around this time, he was also accepted at three universities, and he chose to attend the one that was closest to us in order to cut down on cost of room and board as well as transportation. Since he didn’t have a college fund set up for him to help pay for school, we were all thrilled that he had received this scholarship. We all thought we wouldn’t have to worry about him being able to afford going to college.   This was especially a big concern for me. I had attended college (a community college) for three years until there was no longer any fund...

I usually don’t pay too much attention to my dreams. I usually just think about them then get on with my day. Past experience has taught me that I can never again allow my dreams to have too much influence over me. I cannot obsess over my dreams like I used to. Yes, they are fun to study and learn about. Some of my dreams provide interesting insights. But I had a very painful experience and ended up hurting people just from getting all obsessed over my dreams! So, no more of that.   But the dream I had last night keeps really tugging at me. It brought back painful memories and made me once again question whether something I want to do is a good decision or not.   First, some background. I lost my hearing when I was 13. I caught spinal meningitis and that was how I became deaf. My hearing loss was gradual; it was several years until my hearing was completely gone. This was devastating for me. For 13 years of my life, I was immersed in the hearing world. I enjoyed list...

  In November of 2020, I lost my job with Alvord-Taylor, Inc. I got a new job with a cleaning company but, unfortunately, I was very sick for the last part of November and I couldn’t start my new job until December. Then I was let go in March, 2021.   Right around the time I lost my job, we got news about something else going on: My oldest lost his scholarship to the University of Oregon. When he had won the scholarship in January 2020, he was told he was guaranteed 4 years of paid tuition.   But, apparently, no guarantee is ever a guarantee!   When this happened, all I could think was, It’s a good thing I’m unemployed.   On one hand, I was furious, scared and disappointed that the university did this to him. My son takes his education VERY seriously. He is all about school and work! All of us have sacrificed so much just so that he could attend school and work virtually without any problems.   But on the other hand, I really wasn’t su...