What Are We Supposed to Focus On, Again?
For a long time, I have lived by a mantra: Focus only on the present. In fact, I once drew a picture called “Eyes Forward” in which a drawing of a woman representing myself was looking straight ahead while monsters of the past were at her back. And that’s what my own past is: A monster. A beast I must fight on the daily. It’s not enough that I have to fight the monster tempting me to drink again, I also have to fight the monsters of my past hoping to lure me back into their clutches. That is part of the reason why I drank for so long and why it got so bad. I couldn’t escape the bad memories from my past. I actually lived in the past instead of focusing on the present. I even had nightmares about the past. But to combat this from happening again, I make it a point to focus on the present. This is why I don’t like to talk about the past. Sure, I’m writing about the past in my memoirs, and that’s not easy because of the bad things from my past. Bu...