I May Be Late for the Party, But I'm Still Showing Up

 

It was recently brought to my attention that both Mercury and Venus were in retrograde. One friend commented that, during this time, one thing we are going to need is patience – and lots of it!

 

At first, I didn’t really understand why she stressed the importance of having patience with others during the retrograde, but as things began to unfold, I understood.

 

I had to have patience with my youngest, who just wasn’t ready for our Christmas tree to come down after Christmas was over. We usually took our tree down the day after Christmas, or very soon thereafter. But by New Year’s, it was still up. I began to suspect they just wanted to hold on to Christmas, and the happy memories they had from it, for as long as possible. Both my husband and I rolled our eyes and sighed in frustration over seeing that Christmas tree STILL up yet again 10 days into January and two weeks into January. But now, today, it has come down. My youngest told me they were ready. In fact, they helped me take it down! And when it was down, they sadly said, “Goodbye, Christmas.” Yeah, that tugged at my heart, for sure. But hopefully they will embrace the new things coming about in the new year! (More on those new things later.)

 

I had to have patience with my publisher. I have submitted two manuscripts – one for editing and the other for a possible acceptance – and, months later, I haven’t heard anything yet. It’s frustrating, but I’m hanging in there! Meanwhile, I stay busy with writing. That’s all we writers can do when it comes to dealing with frustrations in life and in career – hit the chair and keep writing!

 

I have also had to have patience with some other people, related to other writing tasks. It hasn’t been easy, and sometimes I got so frustrated that I was on the bottom of their list of priorities, but I knew that it was better to just give them the time they needed. Even if it was another six months.

 

Having patience with others is definitely a challenge. I can be the most patient person in the world, but sometimes I start to wonder if something is being delayed or if I’m just being tricked into thinking that someone will do a thing or that they’ll come through for me when they really don’t have any such intention and won’t even admit to it. Meanwhile, I’m stuck waiting. And wondering.

 

If somebody doesn’t want to do a thing, they should say so up front. I’d rather have my feelings hurt than be held up for weeks or months. I’ll get over it! Or, if somebody says they will do a thing, then I think they should honor their word and do it! It sucks when I wait and wait for months and then they say, “Well, I can’t do it.”

 

And that makes me think about my own actions.

 

If I say I will do a thing, I WILL do it – even if it takes me forever! I told someone I would write a book for them, but it took me three years before I was FINALLY able to start writing it! (I am still writing it!) I have been editing a manuscript that I co-authored, and it’s taking me a LONG time to edit it, but I’m editing it like I said I would!

 

I may be late for the party, but I’m still going to show up. I’ll still do the things I say I will do and the things I PLAN to do. I have a goal to learn something this month, and so far, I have only been able to set aside one day to work on learning it. You can bet I’ll make time for it any chance I get for the rest of the month to work on learning this new skill. I hope I can.

 

But the point is, everyone does get around to things at some point. Even if they don’t, though, I don’t regret being patient with them and waiting for them. Yes, it IS frustrating when you’re hoping for something to happen, and it doesn’t happen. I waited MONTHS for a friend who said they were going to come out to see me, but it all went so wrong. I ended up running right past them without recognizing who they were! (Yeah, I’ve done that a lot with other people.) And I didn’t realize this until MUCH later – like, after I got HOME. I had no way to contact them. And I don’t know what they got out of that mistake, but I guess it wasn’t good, because I never heard from them again. So much for that!

 

But even when I am let down and just not a priority to other people, I don’t regret the waiting. I don’t regret being patient and giving them the time they need. Some people do just need time. And some people, like me, need MORE time to get around to things or actually DO things. More time than most folks would normally need.

 

I was thinking about patience a lot recently, even before the retrograde was brought to my attention. I was writing a chapter for a book last week, and in the chapter, I confessed that it took me 15 years to forgive myself for something I did in the past. If you think that’s bad, it took me a lot longer for me to forgive the person who raped me when I was 19. Yes, it’s understandable that forgiveness can take a long time, but that’s not why I mention it. I mention it because some things just happen in their own time. I believe that there is a time for everything. That things come to us at the time they should, and not in the time we want them too. Things take time, even the most ordinary of things like preparing to get rid of the Christmas tree.

 

And we all need to allow for that time. We need to just be patient and allow things to happen in their own time.

 

Meanwhile, just keep it on the front burner. Don’t let anyone put it on the back burner. Keep it in mind and just mention it every once in a while.

 

Most of all, COMMUNICATE. Check in every once in a while. If you can’t do a thing after you say you’ll do a thing, then please say so. Don’t keep a person hoping and guessing and wondering. Don’t leave them in the dark. If you can’t do what you said you were going to do, then tell them. They have the right to know.

 

I’ve said before that I put my life on hold for no one, but I have learned since then just how important it is to be patient with other people. I have learned that it’s okay to put things “on hold” until the right time for it comes along. That right time may take a loooooong time, but it will happen at some point. Especially if it’s meant to be. So meanwhile, focus on other things. Stay busy. Check in with the person you are waiting on and get updates if possible, but if they need extra time, give them that extra time.

 

I am definitely grateful to the people who are patient with me, so I will also be patient with them. I know how important it is to be patient with others and just how much it means when someone is patient. Just make sure you know the difference between having to be patient and if you’ve been forgotten about altogether. This is why the communication must be there. With good communication and check-ins, it makes it easier to wait for things to come about.