6 Things to Celebrate from Today

 

 

When I finished typing the songs last weekend, I looked at the song that was the next one to type. I saw it was a song I wrote about someone pondering suicide but then they change their mind. That song sent a chill through me. It reminded me of the time that I tried to take my own life. For me, I did not change my mind. I really did attempt suicide.

 

Then on Wednesday, I learned that September is National Suicide Prevention Month. I thought it was interesting that I saw that song right around the time of this month. And I'd recently written an article with the theme of suicide prevention.

 

So I was thinking more about it. And about my own experience.

 

It made me realize that I should write about it in my memoirs. I had glossed over my suicide attempt – saying I had just taken a knife to my wrist – but now I felt like I really needed to write about the WHOLE experience. I needed to cover everything.

 

1. My first thing to celebrate from today is that I found the courage to write in detail about that time I tried to commit suicide.

 

2. There was also something else I finally found words for to write today. My sister-in-law, Shannah, passed away almost 2 years ago. I was devastated by this loss. I remember how I cried at work during the time she was in the hospital fighting for her life, the overwhelming sadness when I got the news that she was gone, and how I spent time that evening talking with my sister and telling her that I loved her. Shannah was taken from this world at such a young age and she had so much life left ahead of her. She was such a strong, brave and inspiring woman that we all loved. I grieved her death for a long time. I finally wrote a poem in her memory but even after that, I cried and I was sad. I miss her so much and think of her often. This poem that I wrote will go into my book of poems containing poetry I wrote in memory of people who have left this world.

 

3. The third thing to celebrate today is that I somehow or another helped another writer who was dealing with the distraction of the Internet. It was eating into her time to write. I shared how I usually write before I get on the Internet. I had only meant to share this as something that I do but it ended up being something useful to her because she said she'll start doing that too and she thanked me for the idea. So I helped someone without even trying to help someone. Yay!

 

4. My oldest got everybody donuts for breakfast and I enjoyed eating my donut this morning. it was really good!

 

5. My oldest also made a "late night food run" and bought A LOT of food, which he happily shared with everyone. It was from Noodle Bowl Cafe and they have the best damn orange chicken I have ever tasted.

 

6. I was able to buy some school supplies for my youngest today. Yay! And because I mistook an amount due on a bill, I have the money to buy him a calculator he needs. Yay again!