A reminder to start small

Several months ago, I decided that one of my fitness goals would be to run in a race and NOT come in last. Because that’s exactly what happened when I ran in a race while participating in cross country at a high school I attended (Monta Vista High School – just one of the high schools I attended!). Even though my coach was with me at the time and everybody was still excited and happy that I had completed the 5K run, I still felt bad that I came in last. That really sucked! And as part of my “new life” in sobriety, I not only wanted to make physical fitness a part of my daily life, but I also wanted to set some goals. I’m a goal-setter! It's not enough just to do something; I have to set a goal for it!

 

So, yeah, running in a race became that goal.

 

So I asked my doctor (my PCP) if I could start running again. She said yes, and to start small. She told me I had to go slow at first and I took this to mean short sprints while I was out on my walks.

 

But when I started to do the short sprints, I would experience chest pain. Then I had chest pain again while I was just walking.

 

Then I started having chest pain while I was doing nothing at all!

 

The next thing I knew, I was starting to experience a strange kind of sickness where I hardly any strength along with mild chest pain.

 

I was very concerned about all of this. I told my cardiologist and she wanted to test me for heart arrhythmia. That test came back negative (thank goodness!). Still, we didn’t know what exactly was going on.

 

Thankfully, though, I started to feel better after I made some adjustments to my diet. Less fatty foods and less red meats. My doctor wanted me to go on the Mediterranean diet, but I have yet to learn more about this. Also, some adjustments were made to my heart medications. And I made sure I drank lots of water. All of these changes helped me to feel better.

 

I thought this meant that I could start up the short sprints again. Or, at least, jogging.

 

But then I had an appointment with a new cardiologist, and he said that I couldn’t do either of those things. No jogging and no running.

 

He did say I could still go for walks, though. In fact, he encouraged that I stretch my walks out to 60 minutes, up from the 30 minutes I would normally try to get them in at.

 

I have only gone for one 20-minute walk since early July, though, because that was when I sprained my foot!

 

I was glad I could still go for walks, but, boy, was I really discouraged that I couldn’t run. In fact, the news drove me to tears. This goal to run in a race was so important to me. Heck, being able to run for exercise is important to me too! I just love running.

 

But being told I can’t run? Ouch. That really hurt. It really made me feel depressed for the rest of the day.

 

But as depressed as I was about this news, I tried to remind myself that this doesn’t mean I will never be able to run again. It just means I can’t run “right now.” My heart isn’t strong enough. I have to work on making it stronger.

 

So I sent a message to my trainer later in the day. I told him about what was up. He agreed that it’s a good idea to focus on what I CAN do for now. I was glad to have his support on this.

 

I also posted about this on Facebook. One of my friends is in the same boat as I am and she shared some exercises she does to maintain good physical health. This helped me to feel better, knowing that there are still exercises I can do besides walking to help stay physically active. And she said walking in a swimming pool might help, since it will take pressure off of my foot. (I love that idea!)

 

While the news I got from my cardiologist was discouraging, I am not going to give up on my goal. I’m not going to throw in the towel and decide to NEVER exercise again. That’s the worst thing I could do! I truly feel that every little bit of exercise that I do each day is good for my overall health, especially my cardiac health. After all, the heart condition I have flares up when there is low blood flow to the heart, so if I keep that blood flow going, I can prevent it from flaring up again.

 

All of this feeling and thinking and planning and talking has helped pull me out of that sadness. (Thank you, my friends!) And it also reminded me of when my doctor had told me to start small all those months ago. They say you have to crawl before you can walk. Well, I have to get my heart in better shape before I can run! This here, this time of no running YET, is me starting small. Not the sprints; no running. The first step is to get my heart in better shape. That’s what I have to do for now.

 

Perhaps there is hope for that fitness goal yet. I am starting to feel hopeful that I’ll be able to run again, someday. And not only run again, but run in a race. And NOT come in last!