Ending 2023 with gratitude

 

Flowers I saw when I went hiking on Earth Day this year

After a few rough years, I am ending the year of 2023 with surprise. I am surprised because it turned out to be a good year.

 

I am also grateful.

 

In addition to some good things happening on a writing level, which I wrote about in this blog post, some good things happened on a personal level.

 

The first thing is the big thing: I made it to another year sober. Yay!

 

The second thing is another big thing. I have talked before about how my oldest, Centauri, lost his scholarship to the University of Oregon. I was grasping at straws and trying to find ways to get the money together so that he could stay in school and finish until graduation. Well, something happened this year that made it possible for him to go back to school, after missing out on one year. I don’t know WHAT happened and he hasn’t told me yet, but somehow, he is able to afford the cost of returning to school and taking classes. Yay! I am holding onto hope that he will be able to graduate.

 

I am also grateful to still have a husband who loves me and has not given up on me. He has been supportive, helpful and patient in so many ways. I am also grateful to him for still accepting me and loving me all the same even after I told him I was now an asexual. I am also grateful for the support I received from my kids and siblings after coming out as an ace.

 

I am also grateful that, after so many years of not seeing them, my sister, Millie, and her wife, my sister-in-law, Allison, came out from California to visit with us. We had such a great time! One of the things we did was visit the coast. It was a beautiful day!

 

 We also went out to dinner while we were there.

 

And best yet, my friend Snarfy also came out from Salem to visit with us all! Snarfy is Millie’s childhood friend but they became my friend too after joining my poetry club, The Circle of Poets. We have been friends ever since. There were times I kept looking at Snarfy and thinking how unbelievable it was to FINALLY see them again, after so many years! It was just AWESOME! I was so happy to see Millie, Allison and Snarfy again. And thank you, Allison, for making such a great dinner for all of us!

 

 

 

I am also grateful that my youngest turned 16 this year. Yeah! This kid has experienced many medical scares and issues so another year of life is a good thing! Plus, they are doing well in learning how to drive. I swear my youngest is a better driver than me!

 

I am grateful that I finally found the strength to sever ties with someone who was toxic.

 

I am grateful that we were able to help out friends who needed to clean, pack up and move out of their house.

 

I am grateful we were able to offer temporary shelter to a friend who suddenly became homeless.

 

I am grateful to the friend who gave us a lot of the belongings of her brother who passed away last year. He is still so very missed and we cherish the things that both he and his wife had that we now have in our home.

 

I am grateful that my doctor got me into physical therapy after I twisted my leg after slipping on ice and that I was eventually able to walk normally again and without pain. AND I was also eventually able to go up and down stairs normally, too!

 

I am grateful to all of the amazing nurses and doctors who cared for me when I was in the hospital after my heart condition flared up. I had a really good team of medical professionals looking after me and ensuring I was okay before I left. The increased dosage on one of my heart meds has definitely helped prevent that from happening again!

 

I am grateful to Centauri for helping us understand what was being said when we went to see Jax act in a play. It really did help make the experience more enjoyable and better for us!

 

I am grateful for my old friends and new friends. Thank you for sticking around and accepting me! I am grateful I have friends that understand that I love them and not feel weird and think it’s a sexual or romantic kind of love. I only feel platonic and spiritual love for all of my friends.

 

I am also grateful to the people who understand that, because of me being neurodivergent, I have certain ways and methods of doing things. The same goes on account of me having a poor memory. Sometimes I leave reminders for myself so I don’t forget something or I do things a certain way so that I can remember everything that I have to do. Thank you to everyone who accepts this part of me and does not try to change me or micromanage me to do things their way. I do what I do for a reason!

 

I am also grateful to the people who understand that I value my writing time as well as my alone time and don’t try to ruin it or interrupt it. Thank you also for understanding that I am totally okay with us only meeting up once every six or so months! Our friendship will stay strong.

 

Most of all, I am grateful to still be alive. There were MANY times my depression got to me this year and I’m so glad I didn’t give into those suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. (Sadly, these ALWAYS come up when my depression hits hard.) I am grateful to have medication that allows me to function throughout the day.

 

And I am very grateful that we are all still together!

 

Here's to another year!