People with facial scars are allowed to be on the Internet too

This morning, while I was reading the news online, I came across an article about a girl with a facial scar on TikTok who sparked a lot of attention from viewers because she has a facial scar. I clicked on the link to read the article, but because of the paywall, I was only able to read part of the article, and not the whole thing. But what I was able to read was bizarre.

 

Apparently, the video was of the young woman’s face, and she was facing the viewer as she talked. The article stated that she had a small, very slight scar on her face, which was the result of an accident she had been in. However, she was not talking about her scar or the accident. She was talking about something else entirely.

 

But that didn’t make any difference, because all a majority of the commenters talked about was the barely-there scar that was on her face. It might as well have been the ONLY thing on her face! Forget about her eyes (or what color they were), her hair or even the expressions she made as she spoke. ALL THEY SAW WAS HER FACIAL SCAR!!

 

And that was all they had to comment on, too. Comments wondering if her scar was real were common, as well as statements that she was only trying to get attention.

 

When I saw that, I was flabbergasted. Seriously?? What kind of ableist bullcrap was this??!!

 

And, yes, that kind of attitude IS ableist. Anyone who treats someone with scars on their body, especially the visible ones, in that manner is basically shaming them for even trying to exist among the rest of the population. Or even trying to do the same things that everybody else is doing!

 

Here’s the deal: Everyone – EVERY PERSON – has the right to exist. AND they have the right to be out among the public AND on the Internet – whether the beautiful, elitist, ableist, snobbish and super-perfect people like it or not. There are people in this world with scars on their faces. And, you know what? Shaming them for even SHOWING themselves among the general public is only telling them they don’t belong among the general public. They should stay hidden away and keep their ugliness a secret from the world.

 

And my response to this kind of attitude is this: DEAL WITH IT!

 

I am one of those people who has facial scars. I have third degree burn scars on the left side of my face, which is the result of a vehicular accident I was involved in when I was 20 months old. I was trapped beneath a vehicle that was on fire. Firefighters saved my life that day. Being burned as a toddler meant enduring years of bullying and being called a “freak” by other kids in my childhood. Grown-ups were more sympathetic. (Ironically, as an adult, it is children who are now very kind and understanding towards me, while there have been certain adults who couldn’t stand my appearance.) It was hard growing up with these burn scars on my face and also my left arm, but thankfully the kind souls who still loved me and treated me just like everybody else made it possible to get through it.

 

Then, as an adult writer with my picture on the website where I had articles published, I was constantly bullied by a reader who made unpleasant comments about my face. This was devastating and, for a long time, I was unable to write, let alone show my face on the Internet again. Thankfully, I got over that, and ever since, a picture of my burned face has been anywhere I can plaster it on the Internet!

 

Why? Because I refuse to hide away from the world simply because my face is scarred. I refuse to stay hidden away from all of the beautiful people and keep my face in the dark. And I refuse to keep my face OFF of the Internet, because, guess what? I have learned to love my face, scars and all, and I don’t need anybody else’s approval of my face in order to be on the Internet. I don’t need permission to have my picture on the Internet, or even be in a TikTok video.

 

And the same goes with everybody else out there who has facial scars. You are beautiful DESPITE your scars. Yes, I am saying this even if I have not met you or seen your face. You are beautiful. You are valid. You are loved.

 

And you have every right to be in pictures on the Internet, as well as videos. In fact, we need MORE pictures and videos on the Internet with people who have facial scars.

 

YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR SCARS!

 

Your scars do not identify who you are or describe what kind of person you are.

 

Your scars are merely proof that you survived what tried to destroy you.

 

That’s how I see it, anyway. I know there are people out there who disagree, and I don’t care. This is my opinion and I feel it is just as valid an opinion as everybody else’s opinion.

 

The more I thought about this today, the more I started to feel concern. What if this incident made that woman feel insecure about being in more videos? What if it made her feel pretty rotten about her experience? What if someone with facial scars saw that article and started thinking they shouldn’t have their “imperfect” face in videos or pictures on the Internet?

 

That was a pretty disturbing thought. That would send a deluge of people with facial scars back into the shadows and back into hiding! What a terrible way to exist!

 

I felt I had to do something. So, I grabbed my phone and sent out the following tweet: “I think everyone with facial scars should be on TikTok! And maybe I will join them.” (No, I’m not on TikTok. I don’t know how to add captions to videos! As a person who is deaf, that is important.)

 

But then, I thought, No. That’s not enough.

 

I had to make a bolder statement. Something bigger.

 

Something with my own scarred face on it!

 

So, I took a selfie, and posted it on Twitter with the following:

 

 

There. I felt that was better.

 

That tweet got a lot of likes. It also got a lot of very kind, amazing and supportive comments from people. Seriously, some of those comments put a big smile on my face and brought tears to my eyes.

 

There are so many amazing and wonderful people out there who look at a person with scars on their face, and see something BESIDES a person with scars on their face. There are people out there who look BEYOND the scars – or even as though the scars weren’t even there! (I have known a few good people who told me they don’t even see my scars when they look at me or sometimes they forgot the scars were there.)

 

I don’t know if a person with scars on their face and who have been hurt by ableism or bullying because of their scars will see that tweet and feel better about themselves. I don’t know if they will see this blog post either. I would like them to. I want them to know that not everyone is cruel. Not everyone thinks that a person with scars on their face shouldn’t be in pictures or videos or even on the Internet. Not everyone thinks that way. I certainly don’t think that way!

 

There ARE good people out there who accept other people DESPITE their appearances – and especially despite their scars. There ARE people who see beyond the scars on our faces and see the person we truly are BEHIND those scars. There are people who will love you, want to be friends with you, accept you and support you no matter what kind of facial scars you might have. Hold on to those people – and forget about the rest.

 

When I got over my depression from being bullied online and felt secure about having my face on the Internet again, I promised myself that I would never again hide my face away. The poem in my poetry book, Touched by Fire, called “My Face to the World” is about that promise. My face may not be perfect and it may not be “beautiful” according to the materialistic standards of society, but it is still mine. I love my face and I love myself. I have the right to show my face, and if people don’t like my face, then that is on them. It’s not on me. All I have to worry about is being me. I don't need permission to exist or to be out in the world.

 

As a teenager, my dad often encouraged me to wear my hair down, instead of up in a bun or a ponytail. He told me it made me look better. Sometimes I wondered if it was because my long hair partially hid the scars on my face or even on the back of my head. Well, sorry, Dad, but my hair is gonna be up if I want it to be up.

 

My face, with all of its scars, is gonna be what everybody sees from now on. No more hiding.