My Five-Year Soberversary Celebration

Photo Credit: Taylor Friehl on unsplash

  

 

Ten days ago – October 12, 2022 – was a very important date in my life. It was the date in which I celebrated being sober for five years. Usually, I blog about my soberversary, but this year, I did something different: I celebrated the occasion online.

 

Through social media, in fact.

 

I am usually on Facebook and Twitter every day (my personal Facebook and Twitter, that is). So, I figured, since this was an important day for me, why not celebrate it online with all the peeps I usually interact with?

 

Yes, I have done this before, in addition to blogging about it. But I wanted to make the day all about an “online celebration” through social media. Not much else. (Yes, I celebrated it with my family, but it’s not like we threw an actual party or anything.)

 

So I posted about it on Facebook and announced it on Twitter. Then I spent the rest of the day responding to comments and thanking others for the retweets. It was truly a good day and I was happy with just celebrating it this way.

 

This decision to opt out of blogging about my soberversary on the day of did not reflect any negative feelings or attitudes about it. It really was a great day for me and I was very truly happy that I made it to five years. That is a huge deal for me. Ever since reaching Year Four, I had been gunning to get to Year Five. I was DETERMINED to get to Year Five. I was NOT going to give in to the constant temptation to drink. (Some days, it’s really bad.) I was NOT going to allow myself to let down my kids, my husband and my friends who knew that my fifth year of sobriety was coming up. I was going to stay the course. I was going to make it to my fifth year – and I did. And it was the most amazing feeling in the world. To finally get to five years of sobriety, to have that accomplishment under my belt, was an extremely big deal for me.

 

Out of all other accomplishments from this year, that was the big one. Making it to my fifth year of being sober.

 

So in addition to feeling like I was on top of the world, what else was it like to get to five years of sobriety?

 

After five years of sobriety, I have to say that I now fully understand the damage my drinking problem did to my life. I did a lot of bad things when I was an alcoholic. I hurt a lot of people and I made a lot of stupid mistakes. I did things I would not even THINK of doing now! Plus I didn’t take very good care of myself and didn’t catch ongoing health problems sooner.

 

And I know they say we can’t really blame all the bad stuff we did on the drinking, but this was true. I was drinking for so long and pretty much every day that my sense of judgment was affected and I got too emotional. Instead of living in the present,. I lived in the past, and I let that consume me. It was part of the thing that kept me drinking.

 

After five years of being free of my addiction, I have found the ability to make peace with my past. I have forgiven myself. Where I was able to obtain forgiveness from others, I did so, I worked on repairing relationships, although I could not repair them all. Some are still long over with and I have accepted this. I respect the people’s decisions not to have anything to do with me anymore, even after I have gotten sober. I accept this and wish them well. I am at peace with it and I harbor no ill will towards them.

 

All that matters now is the present. I have destroyed the power my past held over me. Yes, I may write about things from my past, but it’s only just to write about it. My past is, after all, a source of ideas. But it is no longer a source of my pain and regret. The present is all that matters to me now. Right here, right now. Who I am at this moment. Who other people are at this moment. I won’t hold the past against myself and I will not hold it against other people either.

 

Another important realization I have made after five years of sobriety is that it is so important to take care of ourselves. When I had a drinking problem, I didn’t care about my health or my appearance or my weight. I didn’t eat right and I didn’t exercise. NO MORE! Now, I DO take care of myself. I want to be healthy, fit and look good. I’m still working on the weight thing (yes, even after five years, my weight still goes up and down a lot!), but more important than my weight is my ability to be in shape. That is the number one priority.

 

Being in shape is important to me because it will mean I am healthy. Being healthy is important, and drinking alcohol is NOT healthy for me, so it stays out of the picture. Anything that does not contribute to moving forward or being a part of my new lifestyle will not be tolerated.

 

This kind of self improvement includes physical health, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, social health, environmental health and occupational health. The social health thing – well, I’m basically a loner and not very social. I’m only social on social media! But I understand that it’s important to have good connections with people and I do try to achieve this. I am also taking online courses to learn things until I can somehow or another return to college. I am eager to learn and improve my knowledge as much as possible.

 

But the biggest realization that I made after five years of not drinking is that I was basically throwing my life away to my addiction. I let it control me. I let it dictate how I behaved. I never really appreciated my life or the people in it; instead, I clung to alcohol to erase the pain from my past. I was too busy being a drunk to realize just how beautiful life really is and just how much we can do with our lives if only we get out there and do it. There are people out there who need our help. There are animals out there who need our help. There are things we can do to help other people be happy and places we can go to appreciate this beautiful world that is ours for the exploring.

 

Having been sober for this long has required some additional kind of work, too. Not just about staying away from alcohol and changing my living environment to contribute to that “new life” image I have to keep in my head. In addition to trying to mend broken relationships, I have tried to work on mending failures too. The great thing I learned about failure is that it is a part of a process. Failure is not the end! Before, when I failed at something, I gave up. Now, I just try something different! I don’t give up so easily anymore. If I REALLY want something, I will work on getting it no matter how many times I fail getting there. That means I am looking at certain things I TRIED to do in the past and working on making them happen.

 

So I have been going over these failed attempts and deciding on which ones I want to try again for. I am also getting things more organized and official.

 

I am also happy that I am writing again. Ever since I started writing again, I kept wondering if my writing now is better compared to the writing I put out when I was an alcoholic. I can’t really tell, but I CAN say that I am doing A LOT better as a freelance writer now than when I was one as an alcoholic. Then, months went by without a sale. Now, since returning to freelancing this year, I’ve had at least one sale every month. That is pretty awesome! Also, I am no longer satisfied with not having a PROFESSIONAL presence with my writing work. My old website is no longer active; I now have a new and professional website for my writing. I also have a professional author site.

 

And pretty soon, I will have a website set up for my self-publishing company. Up until now, self-publishing books was just a hobby for me. But now I’m launching it as an actual business, along with a website! I am currently working on making this happen now.

 

I also have a new newsletter. When I closed my old newsletter, I didn’t think I would ever do the newsletter thing ever again. But after one of my publishers suggested I do a newsletter, I eventually launched the SPARREW Newsletter. What’s different? My old newsletter was pretty much about me and my stuff. The new newsletter does include a bit about what’s going on with me, but it’s mostly written for the readers. The word “SPARREW” stands for “Self-Publisher, Author, Reviewer, Reader, Editor and Writer.” It’s an industry for self-publishers, authors, book reviewers, booklovers, editors and writers. (I chose “SPARREW” over “SPABBEW.” LOL) So far, the newsletter is going well and I have gotten nice compliments about it.

 

All of these changes have definitely helped me to feel like I have made a fresh start with my life, and after five years of sobriety, it’s sort of the same feeling. I am off to a fresh start, and I still have a lot of the same people with me.

 

It’s a GOOD thing that I still have most of the same people with me after five years. Most, but not all. I did lose some people after I got sober. But I also met new people, too.

 

I am extremely grateful to the people who are still with me after these five years – especially the ones who stayed with me even when I had a drinking problem. I will never forget them and they will always hold a special place in my heart. They never gave up on me and I will never give up on them either. These people knew me at my worst and now they get to know me at my best. The experience is all the more amazing and gratifying for us, because now we get to see just how beautiful and wonderful life can be as we move forward together.