The Note

 

“Did you write in your journal last night?”

 

The question caught me off guard. I was dropping my oldest off for work this morning, but before he got out of the car, he asked me this question.

 

I thought about when I had gone to bed last night. I usually write in my journal just before I go to bed. Sometimes I write in the journal if there is something that I need to write in it earlier in the day, but, for the most part, I usually write in it just before going to sleep.

 

But that didn’t happen last night. Last night, it was almost 12:30AM when I finally got to bed, and I was exhausted. I hadn’t thought about the journal at all!

 

“No,” I replied. “But I blogged.”

 

“Check your journal,” he said. Then he mentioned a note he wrote yesterday. I asked about it, but he had to get going, so he repeated the request that I check my journal.

 

So, I did. And right on top of my journal, in the protective band, was his note he’d written for me for Valentine’s Day.

 

I said in my last blog post that he hadn’t written me a note, when my husband and youngest got one. Well, apparently, he had! I just hadn’t found it.

 

I read the note and thought it was really sweet. The last part was where he was saying he wished I did more things for myself, too. I thought about this. I wondered why he had said that.

 

Just last weekend, he sprung an impromptu babysitting job he had to get to on Saturday morning. I let him know that I like to do things for myself on the weekends, and that advance notice would have been appreciated, because I had plans. The weekends are my only free days, since I already spend all week running the kids around to wherever they need to go and accommodating their schedules. But the weekends? Those are for me. Those are my days – and I prefer to spend one of them NOT driving anywhere. (Thankfully, I got to do that on Sunday.)

 

That said, I wonder if this was why he made that comment in that note. Did it seem to him I was sacrificing all of my time for their needs? I DO put my kids first. They are important to me and I fully support their efforts. But when they are at school or work, I use that time to rest, read, and write. But of course, I have to do chores, too.

 

In any event, the note made me think. Perhaps he feels I should invest more time for myself during the week, and not just on the weekend. I am pretty much content with the free time I have available during the week right now, but it’s sweet of him to suggest there should be more of that time.

 

Well, maybe there will be at one point! He graduates from college next year and my youngest has 4 ½ more years of schooling. Plus learning how to drive and be independent.

 

As long as this mama is needed, I am there for my kids in whatever way they need, even if it means I get less time for myself.

 

Also, I want to add: I did write a journal entry for February 14^th in my journal today. There were a few things I was upset about yesterday that were still bothering me today. Since they still bothered me, I decided to write them in the journal. They were “yesterday’s business” so I dated that for February 14^th. Now they are no longer today’s business!