The Past Should be a Source of Information and Lessons, Not Pain

 

 

 

I recently read the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a really good book and I loved it. Highly recommended. I learned a lot from it. I highlighted many passages in the book that stood out or spoke to me in some way. One quote that stood out for me, though, was this: “Die to the past every day.”

When I saw that quote, I was first inspired by how much the very act of dying to our past can help us a lot. Unfortunately, some people remain trapped in the past and they can’t move forward in life. By refusing to live in the past and embracing all of the beautiful things our lives have to offer in the present, we are able to grow, learn and be happy. That is what I have managed to do, anyway. I am no longer a prisoner of my past; the past is only something that I refer to for lessons and information.

 

This has been a very hard lesson in itself to learn. It’s not easy living only in the present and referring to the past for information and lessons, but it is very necessary. When I catch myself being affected by something in my past, I have to recognize it as a painful memory. I tell myself that this is only in the past and it cannot hurt me anymore, because it is not in my present anymore. I am free of it. That thing is over and it is dead. There is no reason to get sad or angry about it. Acknowledge the pain, understand what that experience did, but let it go. Don’t give it power. Don’t allow it to take up my whole day.

 

The importance of understanding what kind of lesson a painful past experience can teach me became very obvious to me in a recent experience I have been going through.

 

I recently began working a gig. It is one of the three gigs that I have going on. Unfortunately, this particular gig is not exactly bringing in the kind of money that it promises in the training videos.

 

In fact, it hasn’t brought in ANY money at all. I came very close one week, but it just didn’t happen.

 

The only reason why I am working this gig is to bring in income. And I do see it as “work.” It’s not a hobby. It’s not something that I do for fun. It’s “work.” That said, it is supposed to bring in some kind of income for me. I am trying to help my son pay for college, and the first payment is due next month. I don’t exactly have time to fool around and ignore this responsibility, or the fact that I have bills to pay.

 

Yes, it has been frustrating that this particular gig is not bringing in anything for me, but I decided to not pay attention to that frustration. Instead, I see it as a learning opportunity.

 

And what am I learning from this?

 

For one thing, I am learning what does NOT work. Therefore, I can change my strategy the next week.

 

And for the other thing, I am learning that there are SOME gigs out there that are not right for me. There is a chance that this particular gig might be one of them. Yes, I have only been working this gig for two weeks, but the goal is to get a client each week. So far, that has not happened. Two weeks have passed by, and nothing.

 

Getting a client would mean earning something. With the two other gigs I have been working, I have earned something. With this one, no.

 

I understand that some things take time to get established and set up, but unfortunately, time is not what I have.

 

I also have the past experience of investing 10 years into trying to “make it” as a freelance writer. That never happened, and that was 10 years of my life I could have used doing something else. Something more profitable. For a long time, I struggled with the guilt that this brought. I hated myself for being so irresponsible and I was angry at myself for failing to see that I was pretty much wasting my time kicking a dead horse.

 

But I no longer have these feelings about that past experience, because now I am wiser. Now, I will not believe the whole cock and bull story of how a new gig “takes time” to bring in any profit. I no longer subscribe to the idea that I have to stick with something for YEARS AND YEARS even when it isn’t working out. I mean, why stay with something that is not working out? That’s like the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

 

So I no longer will be doing that. And you know what? This realization has actually been a great thing for me, because now I can resolve that past issue that brought so much anger and guilt. I no longer feel these emotions about it, because NOW it is a learning experience. Now it is a source of a lesson, and not pain.

 

When I go through painful experiences, I try to draw a lesson from them so that they are not so painful anymore. I ask myself, what is this teaching me? What have I learned? I try to look past the pain in order to see the lesson. When we go through something that is painful, there is usually a lesson to be learned. That is what I look for. But sometimes, that lesson is hard to find. Sometimes, my emotions may tend to be too strong for me to see the things I am meant to see. My emotions may make me blind to what is really going on around me and what I must understand about a situation. This has happened before, and in some cases, that “blindness” lasted for a long time. In the end, though, I did eventually come to understand the situation, finally learn the lessons this experience was teaching me, and move on.

 

I am just glad that while I had a negative experience with this particular gig, something good came out of it. I was able to resolve that past experience. I was able to FINALLY learn the lesson that past experience was trying to teach me. I was finally able to push aside the emotions and see the message this experience was trying to convey.

 

And as for the gig? Well, I have given myself one month to try it out. One month to see if it brings in any kind of income. I have two weeks left in that month. If nothing comes out of that two weeks, I will ditch the gig and see if another one I applied for pans out. It’s just a gig. Just as I learned with a job, I cannot attach myself to it. I cannot hold onto it as some form of “identity” or a reputation that I must uphold. It is just a gig. If it’s not a gig that is doing the thing that I need it to do after a trial period, then I will let it go. And this time, I have no problem letting it go, because my past experience is reminding me that I must let it go. It is not for me. It is not meant for me. And this time, I will be able to walk away from something that is not meant for me with the confidence of knowing that it is the right thing to do. I will be able to walk away from it feeling stronger, as well as a little wiser.