3 Things to Celebrate from Today

Today didn't start out very well and a couple of other bad things happened today, too. But I do have some things to celebrate from today -- and that's what interesting. I told my friend, Nita, about how doing this -- looking for reasons to celebrate -- helped me to appreciate the good things that happened in my day despite the bad things. It made me appreciate the good things even more.

And there were a few good things that happened today.

1. Our cat, Smokey, had dental surgery this morning and I was worried he'd be too loopy after the surgery, antisocial or not have much of an appetite. But shortly after we brought him home, he was back to being his active, affectionate and Very Hungry self. I'm so glad he's okay!

2. I started reading another novel today and it's really good so far.

3. The VERY, VERY good thing that happened today is that I finally found the strength to write about a traumatic experience I had a long time ago. I can thank William Zinsser for convincing me to write about it. I have been reading his book, On Writing Well, and today I read the chapter where he encourages us writers to write our stories. To talk about life and the things we have been through. We each have our own unique voices to write about our unique experiences (although my experience is not entirely unique!). I realized that, yes, I should write about this thing that happened to me. The thing that caused so much anger, regret, trauma, nightmares, shame and self-blame for YEARS. A thing I have not been able to forgive my attacker for even today, over 20 years later. I struggled with writing about this for a long time. I was worried people would blame ME for what happened. That people would say it was my own fault, that I could've done something differently from stopping it or that I would be seen as someone who was disgusting, perverted, sick or beyond repair. Or that I even LIKED what happened to me! But, I realized that writing about it would help me to tell MY story about what happened. I was there; I KNOW what happened! It is still in my mind even today. And I also realized something else. When this thing had happened to me, I was powerless to fight off my attacker. By writing about it, I was taking back my power. Writing about this experience is me saying, "You have not destroyed me." And, really, he hadn't. Yes, I struggled with this for a LONG TIME, but I was able to get to a point where I just accepted it as a part of my past. A part of my story. And that is also why I am including this experience  have lived in my memoirs: This is a part of my story. It's a part of the life I. And, you know, writing about it was actually liberating. It was really empowering. I really felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Now I was okay to KEEP writing about it! Yes, the draft I wrote will have additions and revisions, and I feel so much more comfortable about adding to that story and filling in the blanks, like talking about how I coped with it and how I felt when I learned about other people who had this happen to them, too. I am just glad I wrote this first draft. I was worried that writing about it was going to make me upset and that I'd experience that trauma all over again. But, I was actually calm when I wrote it. Which I am grateful for. And, yes, this is going into my memoirs. If people involved in those incidents are worried about my writing about them doing this or if they don't want me to reveal their names, then, well, screw them! They shouldn't have done those things to me.