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Goodbye, Troy

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  Troy Colclasure in 1979 at age 13    This morning, I received the heartbreaking news that my older brother, Troy Colclasure, passed away the previous night. He died in the Desert Regeniol Hospital in Palm Springs, California, a little over three hours after being taken off of the ventilator that had kept him alive. His passing was peaceful and he had family with him.   One of my favorite memories of Troy was how he supported me in everything I liked to do. And when I told him one day that I was just somewhere by myself, singing (I was too shy to sing in front of people), he encouraged to sing for him.   Well, him and his friend, Chris. Those two were like brothers. They hung out constantly. We all loved Chris’ mom, too.   Troy with his buddy, Chris, and his wife, Jamie. They were friends for life. Well, Troy and Chris happened to discover that I had been singing in private, so Troy encouraged me to sing for him and Chris. So I did. I was in the ...

Memories and traces of past mistakes should only serve as reminders NOT to make those mistakes again

I read a poem yesterday that made me cringe. Even though it was celebrating all the things that our human body can do, the whole thing screamed, “Ableist.” Why? Because even as it was talking about parts of our bodies and their uses – eyes, legs, ears and hands – there was no acknowledgment of people whose eyes do not see, ears do not hear, and legs that don’t walk.   And by not including such individuals, it was as though this poem is not for them. But it should be, because it was talking about “everyone.” Except that it didn’t.   What made me feel worse about recognizing this in the poem was knowing who the author of the poem was: Me.   That’s right. Even though I was Deaf (I lost my hearing when I was 13), I wrote a poem about the human body WITHOUT acknowledging that for some people, ears do not hear and eyes do not see, etc. In other words, I had written an ableist poem. Me, a Deaf person, someone who has had to fight ableism for years, writing something ...

Books Read in June

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  Ah, summer. The time when life starts to slow down a bit and we have more time for leisure.   I hate the summer weather but I love the slowing down part of summer. And, it would seem, my life has slowed down a bit more this summer, because my soon-to-be 18-year-old will be changing his educational journey and not returning to high school in the fall.   Also this summer, I was diagnosed with glaucoma in my right eye, and I am nearly legally blind in that eye. (Reading and editing with just one good eye succckkkksss!) So I will be having eye surgery in the near future. Meanwhile, I am unable to drive, so yes, I have been at home a lot more lately. (That sucks too!)   But at least I had the time to get some more reading done this month than normal! In addition to reading submissions for Twisted Dreams Press, as well as books to review, I have also worked out a routine to once again read print books along with the ebooks on my phone and the ebooks on the ...

If at First You Don't Succeed....

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  Two things happen when I face failure.   The first thing that happens is that I get angry. It’s natural to get angry. Anger is a very human emotion. So, I allow myself to feel all the bad feelings that come with failure: Anger, disappointment, frustration and sadness. I might even throw out an “Every time I try to DO something!” when faced with failure.   The second thing that happens is that I pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry on.   Whether or not moving forward means trying again or biding my time until a new solution comes along remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: If this particular thing that I tried to do is important enough to me, I will not give up on it. I mean, I will if the other parties involved have given up too, but if it’s a thing that’s all on me, then I won’t give up on it.   That was the situation for me recently, when I was trying to help out a friend who runs an orphanage in Uganda.   Bob Rich i...