Just Me

Before summer started, I had one goal: Read as much as possible. I was going to spend as much time reading as I could. During the school year, I have a system: I read 3 books 3 times a day. But for the summer, I wanted to read more than 3 books. And I wanted to be reading more than 3 times a day! Well, it looks like I was able to achieve that goal. I was reading A LOT this summer. And thanks to having books on my phone, I was reading at work during the slow periods, too. When I chose what books to read this summer, I decided to just put together a mish-mash of books on different topics. I love fiction, so I was sure to include some novels. I also love poetry, so of course I added poetry books to my line-up, as well. In the end, I had 13 books to read. More were added as I finished books – such as a poetry book. Some of the books I had already been reading and I wanted to finish reading them over the summer. And other books I started reading in late June and ...

Last night, as I was cooking dinner, I had to stop for a minute and just think about how this night one year ago was so different. One year ago, I had to be taken to the hospital. On October 11, 2017, I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. I was diagnosed with pancreatitis and part of my recovery included being put on a 72-hour fast. During this time, I was extremely sick and constantly vomiting. It was horrible. The reason why I got pancreatitis was because I had been drinking too much alcohol. At that time in my life, I was drinking every day. Sometimes, I would drink a whole 6-pack of beer by myself in a day – and want more. My drinking was really bad. I managed to get through the next day all right but after the sun went down, I was drinking again. It was every single day (when I wasn’t sick) and it was pretty bad. I didn’t want to acknowledge that I was an alcoholic. I didn’t think I had a problem. But I was, and I did. Getting pancreatitis put me through hell. I thought I ...

I love to read, and I try to read every day. Not just poems I get in email, posts on my Facebook feed or the Twitter feed, or articles I find of interest to read in the news notifications I get on my phone or through email. I love to read books – A LOT. And I can never just read ONE book at a time. I have to read several. And when a coworker told me she was able to read books on her phone, too, that changed everything. Normally, I read three books at a time when I am on schedule: A nonfiction book, a novel, and a history book. (I have two shelves of history books! It’s my favorite subject.) But there have been times when I am off schedule – when I have to work or I have doctor appointments or meetings that are not the typical “work meetings” that are scheduled every other week. (For example, next week I have to attend a meeting that will last for several hours, and I will be off schedule on that day.) On weekends, I will read a “weekend book” (currently a collection...

Some time ago, when I was training to work at a program for my job, I was talking with a coworker at the end of our shift. As she was busy doing end-of-shift stuff, I asked her if I was going to see her tomorrow. She shook her head then said, “This is my Friday.” The day was not exactly a Friday but it was for her. Tomorrow, on a weekday, would technically be a “Saturday” for her. When that happened, I thought, That’s interesting! Changing your days based on your job schedule. Talk about living outside of the box! With my kind of job, it is never a 9-5 job for us. Plus, some of us aren’t working in an office all day. Some of us are out on the field – going from one location to another. And some of us work anywhere from one to 13-hour shifts. Some longer. (I have seen some shifts that last 48 hours!) So I guess that it would follow that, for many of us, we would not work the standard Monday-Friday workweeks that most people work with their jobs. I know some p...

Today, I came across a news headline that gave me pause: Scientists have found a way to change memory in mice and now they wonder if they can do the same for humans. After I saw that headline, I thought: I don’t want any of my memories to be changed! When I was a drunk, I used to joke that I had some brain cells that I wanted to destroy. Or that I wanted to forget certain memories that were haunting me. But these days, I would rather hold on to my memories, as bad as some of them are. But, later, when I was chatting with one of my siblings, a new thought struck: Is it possible for recovering alcoholics to remember everything about what their life was like during their drinking days? Is it possible for them to forget some of the most horrible things they did when they were drunk? I was wondering this because, in that conversation, my sibling was talking about how a former drunk had told her that he blacked out and forgot about the things he ha...